I feel good. I’m tan from a recent vacation, thin from a lot of work put in during the winter months, and my hair has finally reached my shoulders after a bad haircut. I look smokin’.
Are you cringing yet? My guess is that you are because who do I think I am to have such high opinions of myself?!
I’m supposed to look in the mirror and see something equivalent to Gollum. I’m supposed to say things like, “Ugh, I’m sooooo ugly,” and my friends will protest and then I’ll whine, “Whatever, you guys are totally just saying that.” I’m supposed to have a low self-esteem.
Why is such a horrible thing that I like the way I look? I spend tons of money on creams and tinctures to make my face clear and my hair smooth. I spend hours of my time in the gym lifting heavy things and in the heat or snow pounding away miles to get the body I have. These are things that make me feel confident and motivated. That’s pretty hot to me.
We always bring up these ideas of conventional beauty standards and how they keep people from feeling comfortable in their own skin, but I don’t think that’s the whole story. Sure, we need to change all that and have a wider range of representation in media, but those outside of the current standard still feel hella sexy, they just never talk about it. The bigger fear than being judged for not being perfect is the fear of being judged for loving yourself despite your flaws.
Being hot doesn’t really have anything to do with perfection. You can want to change lumps around your waist and still adore the way your calves look when you wear heels. You can hate the fact that you have acne but love your sleek man bun. You don’t have to be flawless to be a stunner (and no one is flawless, by the way).
It’s all about confidence. Whatever you look like, whatever you’re wearing, sexiness is all about feeling your most confident and looking the way that makes you want to strut. Regardless of anyone else’s opinion.
For me, the time that I feel sexier than any other moment is when I’m doing squats at the gym. Not because I look cute. My short hair is usually falling out of my ponytail and my face is red and sweaty. Not because I have a huge butt. On the contrary, it is quite small. It’s because I’m there squatting the same weight as some 6’2 guy next to me, making me feel strong and powerful. It also makes ALL those leg muscles pop and I love my legs.
Of course, there are things I would like to change about myself. I don’t like that my shoulders are so wide, I wish my chest was smaller, my lips were bigger, my waist slimmer, my booty more bootylicious. Yet, none of these things stop me from looking in the mirror and thinking damn girl. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that I’m not perfect in every aspect, but I wouldn’t let that stop me from loving all the great things about myself.
I just don’t understand when this switch happened. When did we stop being allowed to admit that we like ourselves? It obvious that most of us have days when we’re feelin’ our look. That’s why Instagram exists. It gives us an outlet for us to showcase how fine we are without explicitly saying, Hey, I look really good today. I never judge someone with an account full of selfies and mirror pictures. Good for you for knowing how smoking hot you are. I’ll heart every single one. It doesn’t make you cocky to know you’re a beauty. It means you’re confident and introspective.
Another thing I think is important to add, is that there’s nothing wrong with thinking you’re a cutie patootie, as long as it’s not at the expense of someone else. Yes, I think I’m a good looking lady, but in no way do I think I am more attractive than the people around me. They are all differently sexy and many of them are sexy in ways that I am not. I know a lot of woman with great butts (can you tell that I’m sensitive about my butt).
While it’s important to be confident in yourself it’s equally as important to feel confident in everyone else. Being hot is all about what you have to offer, not what you have compared to the person next to you in yoga.
So don’t roll your eyes. Don’t think Wow, vain much. Don’t start cataloging all of the things you can think of that are super not attractive about me. Just accept the fact that I’m fine with how I look and, most days, I feel smexy as heck.
You should too.